I am naked, totally naked

Well I made it, saying made it, what I mean is that I am packed and at the Travel lodge in Gatwick ready for the flight to Morocco tomorrow. Is was surprising the amount of stress to pack, making sure I have everything and at the same time saving weight as far as possible. I learned that the extra half inch of foil around my freeze dried food add up to 26 gram. Taking 100gram biltong a day in stead of 70gram mean I can not close the rucksack. Changing the strapping to 2.5mm nylon cord save a whopping 123 grams. I made spreadsheet lists, change them print them, change them, print them countless times. I had to decide what to take as hand luggage just in case they lost my bag while at the same time keeping knifes and other no-no's in the hold.

I am knackered and haven't even left UK soil. Zoe was brilliant and help me repack my bags for the plane. She also went for a late night ASDA shop so I do not have to eat the Moroccan food before the race, just in case I get a tummy bug. She then took some time of to take me to the train station and a lovely send off. The train was a nightmare. I was so tense and ready to pounce on any person getting up and just vaguely glance at the empty seed next to me. I was paranoid about my luggage and keep getting up to check if all is still there.

I suspect that is how one feel when you fight a long court battle and lost. You are guilty, you got your sentence, it is a long one there is no appeal and nothing more to do. I am now on my way to report to the police station and there is nothing I can do to get out of it. I am naked. I felt like I lost everything, my family, my business, my positions, my relationships and my freedom. I am naked.

As one do when you are faced with the inevitable, I called my family back in South Africa to get some solace. The only glance of hope, as I told Johan was, maybe we are lucky and someone hijack the plane.....

Saying that once I arrived at the hotel we (me and some of the other British contenders) went to the pub to drown our our sorrows. Was I pleased to learn they felt all the same way Everyone is stressed to breaking point. Apart from me, everyone is a competent fit athlete with countless ultra marathons under the belt and the constitution of Royal Marines in their prime. Some have prepared for this race more than three years and everyone realise this is it, there is no holding back to spare injuries, there is no out. It is do or die.

Well learning that and of course a couple of pints of Old Bishop and I have found my solace, however only a tiny bit though. I left the pub early, had my lasagna and dough balls and are now off to bed dreaming of tomorrows breakfast...full English of course.

I don't know when I will be able again to update this blog, but will do so if I can. In the mean time Thank you all for your support and thanks for thinking and praying for me. I will do my best for you all.