Why do the SAS train in the Beacons?

No manner of words can explain why. All the TV documentaries I've seen fail to describe the terrain. You have to go there yourself to experience it.

I did show up for the "exercise" at the Beacons. Had huge reservations of course but "kind" Martin said "Don’t worry Kobus you will be fine. We have people from mixed abilities and you will be OK"

There were mixed abilities indeed. There were MdS (Marathon des Sables) veterans, there were Iron man athletes, Ultra marathon runners, and Even Jo was there. Jo is the first woman who is attempting the two arches challenge. The two arches challenge is a kind of a triathlon. Starting at Marble Arch in London with a quick run to Dover. The next day causal swim across the English Channel to Calais to pick up a Bicycle and peddle up to the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.

And of course there was me. Fat Kobus.

The route described as a fun exercise in lovely weather included peat bogs (no point explaining these to foreign readers), boulders, swamps, mountains (including the highest mountain in South Wales), grass land and brecon (cant explain brecon either. It is a stiff almost impenetrable brushlike shrub that grows about ameter tall) we were promised lovely views of the welsh mountains and valleys. I did not see anything! I had to keep my head down all the time to decide on which rock, mud pool or hole I want to put my battered feet.

And then I got lost. I was by no means unprepared. I had an Ordnance survey map with the route printed on as well as a GPS with its own Ordnace survey map and the route a clear blue line. With map and GPS I still got lost. At one stage find myself in a tight valley with a stream in the bottom and nowhere to walk but in the stream. I climb out the side of two waterfalls, granted they were not very high about six meters the highest, still I did it and lost some of my kit in the process. When I could not go upstream any further I decided climb out the valley. The valley walls at least sixty degrees and were peat, you have to experience peat yourself to have any appreciation for this. It is like moss but real thick, at least a meter and more. If you’re stand still on it you keep sinking away, you have to keep moving. Climbing the peat walls was the hardest thing I ever did. Looking at the map at home I find that I climb peat from 1313’ (400m) to 1860’ (566m) above sea level that is 547‘ (166m). When ever I stopped to take a breath I was starting to slide down. I used my walking sticks like ice picks to stop me tumbling down and was worried that I will be too exhausted to even hold on. This was by far the toughest thing I ever did. Once out of the valley I was totally lost and after hours of hills, mountains and valleys got back to the track and by great co-incidence at a place where the track crosses the road and where there happen to be a phone box. (No mobile signal in those remote parts). It was 19:00 and I was knackered. I like to think that I would have carried on a little bit more if there were daylight left but was concerned to get lost at night on the mountains without any communication, so I called Martin. He and Sue (his wife) picked me up and took me to the camp site where al the others were relaxed and having a pint. They were concerned about me and were really happy to see me. Barry try to call me a few times but got Zoe instead as I put my calls through to her. Zoe, bless her, when hearing they lost me was not concerned at all and merely enquire what the weather was like and if they are have a good time.

Had an early night and manage some sleep despite been bitterly cold. Even the others complained about the cold which gave me some moral boost. The second day was miles better than the first. I started of by cooking a full English breakfast and that was the talk of the camp. I had a great start and Barry made sure that I know the route well before running of to catch up with the others. The others who by the way was running as well. Those people are not human. Communication was better as we got mobile signal from time to time and Barry send frequent SMS’s from the front to update on directions and enquire if I am still alive. Physically the second day was a breeze compared to the first and I was doing very well. No chaffing between the legs, thanks to Martin who supplied me with some running tights. (Very tight and very revealing but no chaffing). My feet let me down but I was desperate not to loose any more face and to endure at least six hours and hopefully seven. Then Barry gave me jubilation when he sms me saying that Jo has pulled out because of her feet. I thought that if and MdS veteran who is now doing the two arches challenge can pull out, so can I. (Must add that Jo had a good reason as she have a big race on this weekend, I was just chicken). Blissfully unaware I stumble passed a pub to be greeted by a waving Sue and Jo to be whisked of to the finish line in time to share a pint with the others.

All in all it was both easier and tougher than I expected. Day one I almost though I was going to die but recover soon afterwards, day two was good apart from my feet but all the non-humans said that my feet will improve with time and I should not worry too much. They keep telling me not to worry, that make me worry :)

Martin and Sue decided I need to learn how to read maps so I am booked in for a map reading and orienteering course in 2 weeks time. Held at the Brecons!!!! Zoe wants to know more because maybe she will join me. That will be really nice.

Any way Martin is not all that bad. Despite luring me into this weekend’s ordeal he uttered the second most beautiful words I ever heard. “STAY AWAY FROM THE GYM” That is right next to Zoe telling me she loves me. Coming from a man who amongst other things done the MdS, the 6633 Challenge (350 miles above the Arctic Circle) and the Gobi desert challenge. I have to formally announce that the inside of a gym will not see me again ever.


PS: Lost another 1.6kg is now 127.6kg. Only 17.6kg’s to go and 6months, 8 days to do it in.